Helping someone who has suicidal thoughts

Signs to look out for 

Someone who is struggling may:

• appear restless, agitated, or tearful
• seem withdrawn, avoiding social contact and activities they usually enjoy
• struggle to cope with everyday tasks
• express feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness
• talk about feeling trapped or seeing no way out
• show changes in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than usual
• engage in risky behaviours, such as gambling or substance misuse
• stop responding to messages or calls

It's important to be aware that not everyone who displays these behaviours will be suicidal, however, it is important to note a change in someone's behaviour and to be aware of the signs. 

What you can do

If someone opens up about how they are feeling, it's important to listen. Try not to judge them or share your experiences, remember things feel different from person to person and it's important to listen to how they are feeling. 

• Listen without judgment - sometimes, just being there can make a difference.
• Avoid dismissing their feelings - phrases like "It's not that bad" can be unhelpful. Instead, acknowledge their pain.
• Ask directly - "Are you thinking about suicide?", asking someone does not increase the risk.
• Stay with them if they are in crisis - if they are in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. Encourage them to seek urgent help.
• Encourage professional help - support them to seek help and support.

Conversation starters 

If you are worried about someone and would like to start a conversation with them, here are some ideas to get started:

• 'I've noticed you haven't seemed yourself lately. Do you want to talk about what's on your mind?'
• 'I care about you, and I'm here to listen. You don't have to go through this alone?'
• 'You've been on my mind, and I just wanted to check in. How are you really feeling?'
• 'It's okay if you don't want to talk right now, but I'm here whenever you're ready.'

If someone opens up to you about their feelings, here are some tips on conversation: 

• 'That sounds really difficult. I'm here for you, and we can figure this out together.'
• 'Thank you for sharing with me. You're not a burden and I want to support you.'
• 'Have you ever thought about talking to someone who can help? I can go with you if you want?'

If you're worried they may be thinking about suicide you could try: 

• 'I just want to check - are you feeling so overwhelmed that you've thought about hurting yourself?'
• 'You're really important to me. Have you been thinking about suicide?'
• 'It's okay to talk about these feelings. I want to help - let's find someone who can support you.'

Tips for coping right now 

If they are struggling, help them focus on getting through today. Try the following:

• encourage them to be around other people
• help them get to a safe space, a friend or relative who can support them
• encourage them to stay away from drugs and alcohol, this may make them feel worse
• do something they usually enjoy, such as spending time with a pet
• grounding techniques - try deep breathing, mindfulness, or focusing on sensory experiences (holding ice, listening to music)
• practice self-compassion - remind them that these feelings are temporary and help is available
• seek practical support - the Samaritans website has helpful advice on coping strategies or contact one of the support services listed below. 

Make a safety plan 

Anyone can create a safety plan to help manage suicidal thoughts and communicate feelings. A safety plan helps someone to write down coping strategies, emergency contacts, and things that help them feel safe. You can help someone create their safety plan or encourage them to write it with someone who knows them.

The Zero Suicide Alliance: Safety Planning offers advice and information on safety plans. 

Stay Alive app

The Stay Alive app, developed by Grassroots Suicide Prevention, is a UK-based suicide prevention resource with tools to help people stay safe in a crisis.

Features include:

• a personalised safety plan
• a LifeBox to store photos and memories that remind you of reasons to live
• grounding techniques and strategies for staying safe
• guided breathing exercises and an interactive Wellness Plan
• direct links to local and national crisis resources

You can download the Stay Alive app from your app store. 

Support services 

NHS Mental Health Services 

Find out how to access NHS Mental health services and where to get urgent help. Call NHS 111, option 2 or visit NHS: Mental health.

If U Care Share 

Offer a range of services aimed at prevention of suicides, intervention and supporting those bereaved by suicide. Text IUCS for a free and confidential chat (in partnership with SHOUT), call 0191 387 5661 or visit If U Care Share.

Samaritans 

The Samaritans has information and advice on practical support and what to do if you are not feeling okay - call 116 123 or visit Samaritans.

Papyrus

A charity dedicated to preventing suicide and promoting positive mental health and emotional wellbeing - call 0800 068 4141 or visit Papyrus.

Calm: Campaign against living miserably 

Access the helpline to talk and find support. 5.00pm to midnight, 365 days a year - call 08000 58 58 58 or visit Campaign Against Living Miserably.

SANE

Sane and the SANEline offers one-to-one emotional support for those times when you need it most. SANEline is open from 4.00pm to 10.00pm every day of the year - call 0300 304 7000 or visit Sane.

Shout 

Anxious? Worried? Stressed? Get 24/7 help from our Crisis Volunteers - text 85258 or visit Shout.

Support and training

If you want to learn how to better support someone experiencing suicidal thoughts, consider accessing suicide awareness training. Many courses are free and offer practical skills in supporting someone in crisis. The Mental health, wellbeing and suicide prevention training offers lots of resources.